you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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