hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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