Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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