All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
