If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
