I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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