I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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