absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Randomize
