sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
i out mim tonsoeep
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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