Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
