His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
