Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
