so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
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