My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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