I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
