Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
