She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
