I got chris browned last night
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
