I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
