you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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