she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
