i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
