Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
