That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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