it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
