I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
