i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
