he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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