I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I am available for nakedness
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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