So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
its liver damage thursday
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
