I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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