My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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