Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Randomize
