They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
