Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
