I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
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