I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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