Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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