The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
