do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
