Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Randomize
