My room smells like vodka and shame
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
