Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
