It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
