And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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