I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Fuck appropriateness.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
