East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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