I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
