So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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