Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
We got so high we made milksteak
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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