I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
