So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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