erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
