i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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