I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
