I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
