Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
