It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
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