my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
