If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
