he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
